bjhaberman@prodigy.net
CHAPTER 01 REVISED, CHAPTER 02 ADDED. It was a beautiful summer day in Goshen, Connecticut... and I was bored out of my mind. Emphasis on was. That was the day I discovered that magic was real.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.50
- BE: 4.00
- Characters: 3.50
- Technical: 4.50
MaxBigfoot
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
It's starting out very well, and I'm hoping to see more of it.
I'm a little worried about that, as it was posted more than a year ago without any additional chapters since.
tgape
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
Grammar issues noted in chapter 1 fixed; very few in chapter 2. Overall, a very good improvement, though more character development would be helpful. (I know, it's the start of the story, these things take time.)
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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