TheClause2007@yahoo.com
Different BE effects may enhance eachother. Proofread this time.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 2.25
- BE: 2.50
- Characters: 2.13
- Technical: 2.13
Lulz
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
This is what is called failure, ladies and gentlemen.
Anonymous
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
brit
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 2
Needs more story and less giant tits. Good first effort.
(P.S. it's spelt penIs)
DarkHeart
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
Have to agree with Brit, more story would be nice. Your style also seems more than a bit disjointed, it doesn't flow very well.
Bill Pratt
Overall= 1, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 2
No better than the first version, ergo the non existent enjoyment score. I had to run diff on the two files to find the changes.
This may help a bit, but very little will help better than signing into the forum here and recruiting a proofreader.
MrHHH
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
You can always get on the forum and ask someone to review your story for you.
Fishbait
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 2
To (mis)quote ComicBookGuy: "Worst BE story ever"
Pete
Overall= 1, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
This story suffers from poor writing. Not just proofing(there are still issues), actual writing technique. I would reccomend a creative writing class, your nearest community college should have something.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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