It's a Bountiful Life, 
by Dr. Wren von Gregorintintinskinovitch
A Woman's Guide to B.E.


Forward

     This handbook is a complete guide to the phenomenon known as
B.E. (breast enlargement/enhancement/expansion/inflation).  It is
meant to give women all the knowledge they need to deal with BE. 
That includes tips on how to make it happen and how to adjust to
life with enormous breasts.  As you can see, this text looks at BE
as the positive experience that it can be if it happens voluntarily
and you know what you're getting into beforehand.  For example, be
aware that vast majority of BE results in growth beyond the
subject's expectations.  You should be prepared right off the bat
to become at least a little larger than you expected to.  And even
if you far exceed your goal, we hope this information will help you
lead a healthy, happy life regardless of your size.
     This text can also help victims of unwanted-BE cope with the
new bodies that have been forced upon them.   In any case, the key
is to maintain a positive self-image and try not to let the
hardships bring you down.  Life is tough no matter what size your
breasts are.  Remember that underneath it all, you're still the
same beautiful person--there's just a lot more of you now!
     If you are thinking about growing to an enormous size, I
recommend reading this entire text before going through with it. 
I believe there is vital information here that will help you make
choices you will be happy with.  If you have already grown to
brobdingnagian proportions, you may want to skip directly to the
section entitled "Life after Growth."  Of course, if you ever
decide to get even bigger, the "Growth" section will be there to
help guide you.

Dr. Wren von Gregorintintinskinovitch, MD,
Oral Mammary Therapy Specialist and
Cunning Linguist


Introduction

     This handbook will deal with "Huge" and "Wow" size BE growth. 
"Big" size growth has been defined as large in the normal sense,
and will not be addressed in this text.  Huge and Wow are abstract
terms that are loosely defined as sizes far outside the range where
people believe what they are seeing--Wow being subjectively larger
than Huge.  For the purposes of this text, I will have to define a
Huge breast as one in the range between basketball-sized and barely
small enough to fit through the average doorway.  I will also
introduce a category called "Oh, MY!", defined as larger than the
average household bedroom.  Wow is in between the two.
     We will also have to distinguish between the various physical
properties breasts take on depending on the method of BE used. 
Though the standard is massive growth of ordinary breast tissue, BE
is often accomplished by filling the mammary glands with excess
amounts of various substances--including but not limited to milk
and air (most frequently, lighter gases are used so the woman may
achieve flight).  Some BE methods even use various densities of
breast tissue so the subject isn't overwhelmed by the weight.

How to Grow

Growing Concerns

     Some methods of growth are pretty straight forward.  You
follow the instructions and grow to the size you've always wanted. 
In many cases, however, you get the luxury of being a little more
creative when it comes to your growth.  Before you seek out a
method of growth, here are a few questions you might want to ask
yourself:

Do I want my breasts to grow overnight, or do I want to be awake
for the experience?


How fast do I want to grow?

How large do I want to grow?

How long do I want the growth period to last?

Do I want ordinary breasts, or do I want them filled with something
non-traditional?

Do I want to lactate?

How heavy do I want them to be?

If filled with a gaseous substance, do I want them to lift me off
the ground?

How do I want my nipples to be affected?

How sensitive do I want my breasts to be?

How does the method of growth address potential health risks and
pain from expanding to the size I want to be?

How will the type of enormous breasts I want affect my lifestyle?

     If you can answer all these questions and are satisfied with
the answers, then it's fairly safe to say you're adequately
prepared to seek out methods of making your breasts grow absolutely
enormous.
     Also, before I continue, I must address the issue of long-term
and never-ending growth.  If possible, it's usually desirable to
have at least a little control over the destiny of your breasts. 
If you have a choice, think very carefully before you choose to
continually grow for years and years.  Those women who don't have
a choice will tell you that before you stop growing, you'll
probably far surpass the size you find most desirable.

Growth Methods

     Most of your options fall into two categories:  Magic and
Science.

Magic

     With magic, there are limitless possibilities if you know
where to find them.  Most often, magic BE is achieved by enlisting
the help of a professional magician.  You don't have to look very
hard for them.  If you are really really eager to have enormous
breasts, they will somehow manage to find you.  Sometimes they want
payment, sometimes they don't.  If you see someone in need, it's
often a good idea to help them since they are often friendly
magicians in disguise who have come to make your breasts grow. 
It's their way of rewarding compassionate women.
     Usually they will give you some sort of potion, candy,
chocolates, or an enchanted object along with very specific
instructions.  Even if you don't trust the magician, I urge you to
follow the instructions to the letter.  Magic is very unpredictable
and there's no telling what the consequences could be if you don't.
     Also, by consulting a professional magician, you take the risk
of running into an evil magician.  Without fail, an evil magician
will always make you grow much larger than you originally wanted to
be.  It is best to only seek the services of magicians who are
licensed by the Magic and Illusion Licensing Council (MILC).  If
the magician doesn't show you any credentials right away, be sure
to ask, "Got MILC?"  Of course, contrary to popular belief, any
magical spell can be undone by a magician more powerful than the
one who cast it, but (like police) you can never find one when you
need one.
     Some women who want enormous breasts are magicians themselves. 
This is a very convenient situation since, almost always, they also
know how to shrink back to normal whenever necessary.  Amateur
magicians should be careful (especially when mixing potions) since
they aren't quite as knowledgeable.  Also, every once in a while,
a woman will unleash magical powers that she didn't know she had,
casting what is sometimes called a "passion spell."  If breasts are
a major concern to such a woman, spontaneous magical growth can
happen at any moment without her realizing what's causing it.  This
release of unused magical power is sometimes triggered by innocent
contact with things such as air tanks or water spouts.  So who
knows, if you think about it hard enough, it just might happen.  Of
all the women who experience BE, these are usually the ones most
satisfied with the results.
     There are also many other supernatural beings besides
magicians, and there are also magical objects whose sole purpose is
to induce breast growth.  Like magicians, you don't have to look
very hard.  Either they will find you or you will feel drawn toward
them.  The information about magicians pretty much goes the same
for these things as well.  There are more concerns, however, when
dealing with wish-granting.
     Whether it's a wish granting creature or a wish granting
object, you have to be more careful here than with any other
magical growth option.  Unless the thing granting your wish is
malevolent, you'll probably be smacking your forehead if you
accidently botch your wish--and I don't mean with your hand.  More
often than not, you only get one shot at this.  Be specific in your
wording.  Most things that grant wishes are ancient and from a
foreign land, so you have to make a serious effort to make yourself
clear.

Science

     The most frequent method of scientific growth uses complex
chemical substances, often in the form of a liquid or pills.  It's
a little harder to find BE scientists and BE products than it is to
find magical ones, but as I said before, women who are determined
to grow somehow always seem to find these things.
     As always, be careful.  There really are such things as mad
scientists.  Due to their mental instability, they are more likely
to use unconventional growth techniques than anyone else.  If you
trust one of these people to enlarge your breasts, don't be
surprised if one day he inflates your breasts by remote control and
you float off toward some secret lab somewhere.  We have heard
rumors of a case like this occurring, but the C.E.O. of Sievert
Labs refused to comment.
     Whether it be a mad scientist or simple human error, without
fail, mistakes always result in growth (never shrinkage)
substantially larger than you ever wanted to be.  Always check the
scientist's credentials beforehand, especially if surgery is
involved.  If the procedure and the doctor aren't certified by the
Testing Office for Pseudo-Science (TOPS) you may be at high risk
for unforeseen complications.
     Participating in a research study is also a popular method of
achieving breast growth.  It seems that there is never a "control"
group in any of these studies, so you are guaranteed to receive the
actual enlargement treatment that they are testing.  Placebos are
hardly ever used.  Even when they are, they always seem to get
accidently mixed up with an even more concentrated form of the test
medication.
     Follow instructions and prescriptions carefully.  Always know
the capacity of any air tanks that may be involved.  Make sure any
BE machines are connected to a proper power source.  Also, be aware
of the weather situation since, as you can probably imagine, a
power surge from a lightning bolt has fairly predictable results on
a BE machine.
     Some women have found that products meant for animals--such as
bovine milk hormones--allow them to achieve the growth they desire. 
It's a little more difficult to calculate the correct dosage in
this case since these chemicals are usually meant for cows, not
humans.  Most women choose to avoid this method of enlargement
because of a documented case of a woman sprouting two extra
breasts, big floppy ears and a tail.  I was unable to find any
translators who speak Cow, so she was unavailable for comment.
     Another, well documented, method of growth involves beings
from alien planets who offer to enlarge your breasts using their
technology.  Most of the documents we retrieved on this topic
through the Freedom of Information Act were completely blacked out
with a marker--we were told this was to protect national security. 
The few lines that were still legible suggested that some women
have had unfriendly encounters with these aliens.  Although they
offer the gift of enormous breasts, more often than not, they have
a hidden agenda.
     You also might find various natural items that induce breast
growth scattered around the planet.  These range from unclassified
fruits to radioactive rocks.  There is little or no knowledge about
most of these items, so it's possible to experience strange
unforseen side effects if you use this method of enlargement.  On
the other hand, you usually have complete control over growth by
this method since your final size is determined by the time of
exposure to the object or by the amount of the BE-food that you
consume.
     And lastly, for some reason, it seems that most scientific
methods of growth induce lactation on the scale of a small deluge. 
If lactation is one of your goals, you're more likely to find it
through science than magic, although I'm sure a wizard would oblige
you if you want to feed a small town.  As the politicians say, it
takes enormous lactating breasts to feed a village...or something
like that.

Growing

     Finally, we come to the most important part of the "How to
Grow" section, "Growing."  You've got your method of growth picked
out and now you're raring to go.  Assuming you've given this an
adequate amount of thought, you should be happy with the results--
especially if you remember the cardinal rule that you're probably
going to end up larger than you originally thought.  You've thought
about the risks and fantasized about the advantages, so now you're
ready to do the deed.  For you women who fantasize about Huge, Wow,
and Oh, MY! sized breasts, this is likely to be one of the most
enjoyable experiences of your life, especially since most women
like to engage in sexual intercourse during their growth (I can't
think of a better time for it).
     In all the excitement, however, women do tend to make a few
simple misjudgments that can make the situation a little more
complicated than it needs to be.  Let me give you an example of the
average BE growth situation.  Unlike most fictional accounts of BE,
I will include the scenario that happens immediately after the
average growth scene.
     You are with a loved one or alone in your bedroom.  If your
growth is already preset, it's likely that you grow larger than you
are supposed to anyway since sexual stimulation often strengthens
the effect of the treatment.  Having not made plans for this
miscalculation, you probably find your breasts too heavy to lift,
too wide to fit through any door, or both.  You may even find
yourself floating up to the ceiling with no pre-planned way to get
down.  And on top of everything, you probably have to go to the
bathroom.
     If you or a loved one are in control of your growth, there is
a similar scenario.  You may or not be making love to your loved
one or masturbating alone, but that makes little difference. 
Whether it's the heat of passion or simply the excitement of the
actual growth, whoever is in control is going to get a little
carried away.  You have the same consequences here as the other
scenario.
     Fantasies are nice, but this is real life.  It doesn't take
much common sense to realize that if you're going to have breasts
the size of Volkswagens, you have a little planning to do before
they get that big.
     An appropriate setting is crucial.  If you know you're going
to make your breasts enormous, you might as well adjust your living
arrangements beforehand.  Be generous in your estimate of your
final size, especially when choosing the location where you
actually plan to sit and grow.  If you're going to float into the
air, you probably want to do it in-doors.  If you'll be spraying
large volumes of milk, I recommend using outdoor paint on the
interior walls since it's designed to hold up under precipitation. 
Down-pours...let-downs...same thing.
     Also, mobility is important.  Like living arrangements,
mobility arrangements should be made BEFORE the actual growth takes
place.  There's no point widening the doors on your bathroom if
your breasts are too heavy to drag in there.  And it's hard to aim
for a toilet if you're still floating on the ceiling.
     Of course, there's always going to be some unforeseen
circumstances, but a little planning will take care of most
problems.  Even if things get more than a little out of hand, take
comfort in the fact that you at least tried to compensate.  Don't
beat yourself up if things don't go quite like you wanted them to. 
Just adjust accordingly and make the most of what you've got--after
all, you're going to be at that size for quite a while.
     These are the most pressing concerns for your actual growth
period.  If you've already prepared for these, you're all set to
grow!

Life After Growth

     I will take this part of the text one step at a time just as
you should take your life as a phenomenally endowed woman one step
at a time.
     So now you're Huge.  Wow.  Maybe even Oh, My!.  You've
probably just had the best orgasm in your life (so far) and you've
finished basking in the afterglow--lying on your back or side, of
course, since sleeping on your stomach is completely out.  Now
what?
     You probably have to go to the bathroom.  Toss those babies
into your wheelbarrow (or have your bulldozer push them into the
dumptruck) and roll toward the porcelain throne.  After that, dump
them in your oversized bathtub and have a nice relaxing sponge
bath, or if you prefer, lufah.  Dry off as much as you can reach
and go have breakfast.
     Now what?  Do you have a job?  You go to your closet...you
haven't a thing to wear.  It's probably a good idea to call in sick
for a day or two.  While you're on the phone, you might want to set
up an appointment with a good chiropractor or a masseuse.  Unless
they're full of air, the weight is going to get to you eventually--
even if they're in a wheelbarrow most of the time.
     Time to go shopping.  Cover yourself with whatever you can
find and hit all the clothing stores you can fit into, call the
ones you can't, and get measured by a seamstress.  Anything one-
piece is out of the question.  All tops will have to be custom made
unless you miraculously find something your size.  You'll need
custom made bras as well, unless your breasts are full of air, or
their full weight rests on a wheeled platform in front of you.
     So now you're fully rested, fully clothed, bright-eyed, bushy-
tailed, and brobdingnagian breasted.  You're ready to face the
world.  "That's all there is to it?" you say.  Of course, not. 
There's going to be tons of other ways you'll have to adapt to your
new body.  You'll probably be the center of attention wherever you
go, receiving both good and bad reactions from people.  There will
be certain activities you can't do because your breasts get in the
way.  For things that absolutely must get done, breast obstacles
and all, you'll just have to find a way to work around them.  If
necessary, you may be able to use federal laws to make your
employer widen his doorways.  Airlines will probably charge you for
multiple seats.  And buildings, furniture, and dozens of other
things probably aren't ergonomically designed for someone with your
figure.
     "That's awful," you say, "why did I ever do this?"  You've
forgotten already?  Think of all the times you fantasized about
having enormous breasts.  When you didn't have them, all you ever
thought of was what you like about them.  Now that you have them,
all you're going to think about is what you don't like about them? 
That doesn't make sense.  At the very least, you should aim for
somewhere in the middle.  There are advantages and disadvantages to
any situation fate puts us in.  Don't think of yourself as better
off or worse off than before.  You're still you.  The only
difference is that now you're you with giant boobs.  Have fun with
them.  Take care.


ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Thanks to Drake Dragar, Chairman of MILC, and Madame Nashon,
Unlicensed Magician, for information regarding magical enlargement.

Thanks to the Artist Formerly Known as the Prince of Darkness for
providing commentary on evil magic and criminally insane scientists
in exchange for Mastophilus' immortal soul, an autographed picture
of Pandora Peaks, and a Wonka Schrumdidlyumptious chocolate bar. 
Sorry Masto--it was either that or my Johnny Swell art collection. 
Can't give up my Swell art, man.

Thanks to the St. Cats Sexual Chemistry Class, the only research
group not approved by the Testing Office for Pseudo-Science.

Thanks to Agents Foxy Bustmore and Dana Cranium for providing alien
abduction records from the Sex Philes.

Thanks to Boobs Frontier for letting us chew cud with one of their
"clients."

Special thanks to Angelique Grimm for eagerly volunteering to test
out various BE methods which, oddly enough, didn't produce the
gargantuan size she was hoping for.  It was heartwarming to see her
try, though.

And special thanks to Cheyenne Chaste Moon, winner of the coveted
Boobie prize for Excellence in the Genre of BE.  Without her
guidance, there would be a few less giggles scattered throughout
this text and a few less giggles scattered throughout my
scatterbrain.

And finally, special thanks to Miss Corinne Meadowlark, Support and
Mobility Instructor for the St. Catherine's School for Growing
Girls and very much NON-FICTIONAL columnist for R&D.  Without her
support (and mobility) I would never have realized that large
growing breasts aren't all they're cracked up to be, and that it's
still okay to like them even though they're not all they're cracked
up to be.  And it's okay to crack up when you read this ludicrous
document that she inspired me to write.  Thanks, Cee.

