The Bazoom Bagette The Bazoom Bagette - the county's leading newspaper - Still Only a Nickel - Vol 104, No. 5 The Big Event - Next Week!
Times Past This column would like to note the passing of Miss Karla Weathers, a special lady who was a frequent competitor in the Bazoom County Bathing Beauté Contest. She had been a winner of one of the top honors several times and had been the Top Princess in 1952. So long, Karla, we know you will be a winner wherever you go. A recent note from one of our esteemed readers has brought another unknown to light. Two issues ago we showed the photo of a young woman identified only as "Lisa." This slightly more recent photo of her was sent in by a relative of hers and identifies her as Lisa Meadows, 28 at the time of this picture and having grown to a blouse busting 88 inches in the three years since the other photo! She had indeed won the title of Princess First Mate at that time. We can see that she could be a true double threat in the contest, even today! This information was submitted by her grand-niece, Cynthia Baxter, herself a hopeful contestant in this years event. Good Luck, Cynthia, you have some good genes to draw on! Visitors From time to time we like to do an article on the newcomers to our sleepy little village. One of the recent "visitors - soon - to - become - citizens" is little Meiko Misumi from an island in the northern part of Japan. When asked how she grew to be such a "big" girl when she didn't come from this area she said, "In the town I come from we have a spring very much like the one here. Most of my girlfriends are bigger than me!" She is trying to find out if she could enter this year's contest. Since there never was any kind of restriction, we think she has a chance... Measuring up at 79-18-34 we think she has a darn good chance! Young Cynthia McDermott has only been here a year, having moved here from New York with her parents. At first she was greatly alarmed at her pronounced growth... "I thought I was getting fat!" she exclaimed, "But it only enhanced my normal perkiness!" We see no fat on Cynthia at all, do we folks? Manuela Obregon has been here for four years. She came from a small village in the Amazon Valley of Brazil, and has responded nicely to the county's healthy atmosphere. "This country, it has been very good to me," she responds, "I have never felt so much healthy... I am honor... honored to be in Beautiful Contest." At 91-22-38 with a gorgeous tan, she does indeed look very healthy! Charity Bledsoe's family moved here when she was fourteen to get away from the cold weather in New England. She says, "It's much warmer here, the climate is not so extreme... I've never seen a bit of snow since we moved." We're sure that Charity would warm any beach up. At 96-24-37, this twenty-year-old is ripe and ready to make a significant showing at this year's event! Maria Felix moved here from San Jose just six months ago and has shown amazing development during that short time. At seventeen she is sorry that she missed last years contest, but has promised to make a showing at this one. She certainly made a showing at this year's "Hopeful's Picnic!" "I live here with my aunt Sophia, now... boy was she surprised when I started ballooning up! But... she's pretty big herself, I'm surprised that she never considered entering. Oh... measurements... well... I'm seventeen... five-foot... maybe -one... and... hee hee... nineteen waist... thirty-four... hips... hee hee... okay, okay... ninety-six around... the top!" Laughing at our reporters impatience. |
| On the Beach As the event draws near, there is a buzz of activity in town and along the beach. Doing its duty, this paper sent an intrepid team of reporters to the shore in hopes of catching some sense of the excitement that is prevalent at this time. Actually, we couldn't keep them away with a big stick! "Little" 14-year-old Candy Staples is a common sight at the beach around this time of year. Her Mom says, "Well, it's healthy for her, and it's so hard to keep her in clothes... she just keeps growing out of them. I can't afford to keep buying her bras, she doesn't really need them anyway. She's so eager to enter the contest... but... two more years, yet!" Candy had something to say, so we let her say it, "Ohh! I really like this time of year! We don't get as long a summer as those down south, so I really like to enjoy it while I can!" She just wouldn't let us get away without taking a few pictures of her. We caught up with Kirstie Shore "at the shore." She has been entering in the contest for three years now. Hasn't won yet, but we can't see how she could avoid winning someday! It's well known that one of her favorite pranks is to walk up to some out-of-towner, grab him and give him a big hug, ask him his opinion of her chances in the contest while making a big show of tugging her shirt off. When they pop out, she jumps up and down, giving them a little extra bounce. "Many times they just faint dead away!" She opines, "It's a kick, seeing the look on their faces!" We have to concur... it's a sight to behold! We spotted little Sukie Yamoto sunning with some of her friends. She's another of those young hopefuls who haven't quite come of age yet. She wanted us to take pictures of her friends, but we thought she was also worth seeing. When asked if she had anything to say, we almost couldn't shut her up. "Oh, were having soo much fun! Janet here is getting to enter this year, I've still got another year to go." She went on, getting very excited and bouncing up and down. Sometimes our cameraman wishes he had a movie camera with him. "Sharon will get to enter with me, next year. We get to compete against each other... so much fun! She was still talking when our intrepid reporter wandered away to find some other likely prospects. There was a very quiet lady sitting by herself on the sand. Our reporter walked up and inquired if he could take her picture. She said, "Okay... but I don't know why..." She said her name was Penny Esler and that she didn't think she was pretty enough to warrant all this attention. Our reporter tried to reassure her. He hoped that by the time he had left she would be feeling a little more confident. Angela Diaz was with her friend, Gloria. Angela is always glad to pose for us, Gloria is a little more shy. Angela said, "Do you think they stand out enough?" Lifting up one of her very perky breasts and dropping it, seeming a little dismayed that it dropped at all! "I'm hoping for the 'extremely perky' prize, but I may be too old... Do you think 66 inches will be big enough?" We knew that she was just 18, but to many of the girls, anything after 16 is downhill. We told her that on her petite frame, 66 inches looks quite big, and that she had no problem in the "perky" department. We think she might have been just "fishing for complements." Special Attraction Another one of our own newspeople, Jennifer Stiles, who works in our steno pool, is a contestant in the Bazoom County Bathing Beauté Contest this year. "Well, my measurements are 106-22-34, and I'm five-foot-four, 25 years old... do you think I have a chance? I do hope the boys at the paper will support me during the contest, I need all the encouragement I can get!" Well Jen, the boys are sending you off with a big Hurrah! At the paper we try not to take sides, to be impartial, but Jennifer makes it hard to stick to that principle... But, we wish all the girls good luck! In keeping with the spirit of nepotism, I'm publishing a picture of my "baby" sister, Jessica. She begged and pleaded with me to take a picture of her for the contest... she seems to think that I have a good eye for glamour shots. She also insisted that I measure her. I read 92-22-35. She made me measure around her top again, this time including her nipples, which now reads 96 inches... I guess that's the right way, according to the judge's guidelines. She declined to make a statement, saying, "I'll let my body speak for me!"
Mayor's Daughter Enters Contest! That's right, our own Miss Courtney Hanson is vying this year for "Top Princess" honors, having waited until she had finished high school, and gotten through her first year at Bazoom University. "I wanted to make sure that I had a good grounding in my education before I attempted it." She sounds like a very sensible girl, with a pretty head on her elegant shoulders. At five-four, with 105-25-37, she will certainly spark the competition! The judges have promised there will be absolutely no favoritism... but with Courtney... I can see her becoming the favorite of many! That's all for now, see you on the turn-around. Next Issue --->