The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Shamus Baran
shamusbaran@gmail.com
Boob Note (Part 2)
Chris lets the power granted to him by the Boob Note, a magical notebook capable of enlarging breasts, go to his head.  

He toes the line between popular playboy and dangerous sociopath.   

Chris quickly learns the book can not only enlarge breasts but shape reality itself.   He finds a girl willing to help him experiment, but one just isn't enough for Chris.

Is he going to far?  Or is he just taking his new role as a modern 'Boob God' too far?

Boob Note is an ongoing story being posted in smaller parts at  http://shamusbaran.deviantart.com/

When larger chunks of the story are finished it will be posted here.   However, if you'd like to get little bits of the story sooner (and maybe even contribute to Chris' fate) check out my DA page.

--SB


Average Scores:

notmyfault
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Phrases in "italica" are a great way to include the main character thoughts.

Nnonn
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

I really like these, hope you keep writing.

Leviathan
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

Very enjoyable chapter. I think this was better than the first one. You seem to have a better grasp of who the main character is supposed to be, and I like that the main character is turning more into a "villain" as the story progresses, as it shows how the power of such a thing might go to someone's head. Hope to see more. Keep up the good work.

loabw
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

I really enjoy where you're going with this, can't wait to see more.

Ktc
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 5

I think the story is fun, and that you are a good writer, but the main character isn't really likeable and that primarily stems from my own beliefs on personal relationships. Of course, as this is mirroring Death Note, maybe I'm not supposed to like the main character at least as an a-typical protaginist and I'll meet this stories N, whom will be his foil. On the flip side, I was a big fan of the scene with Heather, and fetish loving Mary Sue's aside, I am looking forward to 10 o'clock with her.

ryan
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Loving the story so far, I wish you listed what parts of the small chunks are in these larger releases in the description, like is this all of 2-1 through 2-5?

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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