The story of Natalie continues with the search for answers to her lack of magical control. Then, just when everything is starting to look up…
I want to thank all of you for reading and leaving such overwhelmingly positive feedback. Like I said in the acknowledgements, this story is written for you. We writers work for your feedback, it’s what keeps us going.
I have wanted to post this since I put up Chapter II, but I have to space it out, or you all are going to think I have pulled another Amanda and Andy.
Lastly, if you all get bored reading my stuff, I must highly recommend Fitting in at the Ren Fair and Fantastic Desire by Coffeepilot. He’s one of my proof readers and a damn good writer in his own right.
With out further ado-
Average Scores:
- Overall: 3.80
- BE: 3.60
- Characters: 3.93
- Technical: 3.80
kain123
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Is there any moderator to clean up the troll ratings?
me
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
Bad...just bad... print this and then wipe a dogs butt with it.... only if you don't like the dog.
blick
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
You should be thrown in a hole and made fun of.
Greyseer
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Very interesting story so far, human/human-like characters that draw the reader in, good plot development yet not too outlandishly and over the top.
While BE isn't a major thing for me, you've do it in such a way to introduce it to other readers without shoving it in their faces (at least in my opinion)
You've definitely got me wanting to see what happens next and not many writers can do that.
Keep up the good work and most of all I hope you have fun doing it.
Greyseer
Greyseer
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Very interesting story so far, human/human-like characters that draw the reader in, good plot development yet not too outlandishly and over the top.
While BE isn't a major thing for me, you've do it in such a way to introduce it to other readers without shoving it in their faces (at least in my opinion)
You've definitely got me wanting to see what happens next and not many writers can do that.
Keep up the good work and most of all I hope you have fun doing it.
Greyseer
maDamanDa
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
a
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
Zoll2008
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
This may turn out to be one of the best stories, of this nature, I have ever read. Well done! I keep checking back just to see if another chapter is posted!
Beachball boobs
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
This story is only getting better! I can't wait for more!
ktc
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
waiting a whole month is painful
Duff
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Definitely interested in the rest. The only nitpick I have with this story is that so far it doesn't seem to focus on the actual growing of breasts. Sure it's a central mechanic, but it doesnt seem to feature as a central part of the titilation. As I said though, this is just a nitpick because it's fantastic.
Maikle
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
It was amazing, dude. Description of transformation. More hot bodies, huge tits and bubble butts
WritingBitch
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Fantastic as always. Natalie is still one of my favourite fictional erotic characters ever and I doubt that will change anytime soon.
Everything gets a 5/5 this time as the expansion was finally really touched on as more than a passing mention. The characters are as wonderful as ever and I'm glad that they are finally having a sort of identity as the story progresses. Lastly, technical quality is as astonishing as ever.
Keep doing what you do! Three weeks is gonna be murder, but it's always worth it in the end.
Korafa
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Great story, hope there will be a lot more chapters in the future.
cman
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I want to pay for the rest of the story. Patreon, perhaps? Please, take my money.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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