The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

akilgop
The Pool Table
Lauren encounters her old classmate Matt, who had recently came back in town. Matt invites her to her new home to play a game of pool, only things are not as boring as they seem.

The archive contains two versions of the story, with two different endings.
Average Scores:

Gardamuse
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Great descriptions and a compelling enough story with pretty okay characters. However, the text could be run-through a spell check, it doesn't seem like it has had that yet.

jno
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Very good

Catfish
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 2

Interesting little story, and the two different endings are fun. The descriptions of Lauren's changes are pretty hot. However, this could definitely have used an editor, or at least a run through a spell-check.

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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
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