Lomnas@outlook.com
Emiliy is a teenage geek girl with all the regular problems that teens face. However things change on her birthday when after a discussion with her father about her missing mother she decides to try an occult ritual to find her. She got a lot more than she asked...
I hope you like it, please feel free to correct any mistakes you find and give feedback since English is not my first language. I like to support my story with pictures so you can visualize the characters better. I want to make perfectly clear that i don't own ANY of these images, they are the work of someone else. These are the artists and body types i keep in my head when i imagine my characters.
http://rinaldi-pin-up.deviantart.com/
http://dmitrys.deviantart.com/
http://deucesworld.deviantart.com/
http://demonroyal.deviantart.com/
http://epictits.deviantart.com/
Chapter 2 will come in due time. :)
Average Scores:
- Overall: 3.67
- BE: 3.50
- Characters: 3.50
- Technical: 3.50
Pobblebonk
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
Decent story but it badly needs some proofreading. I don't want to hear about her passing her hand through her forehead, or squirting so hard that it forms a poodle. A POODLE???
Hans21
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
hello im the author of the story, first i would like to thank you for your feedback. Second could you give me examples of more detailed breast expansion descriptions so i can improve?. Last thing I wanted to know if its possible to change the email direction I posted in here, im afraid i have posted the wrong one. I have tried contacting the webmaster and the forum but none of them are responding.
dodrade99
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I liked it a lot, can't wait for the next part!
Blargenofram
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I liked this story, I especially liked how the transformation gradually gained power and overwhelmed her defenses, yet she still tried to retain control and fight it.
Being a BE story I think the description could have been a little more, but that's a small setback. Looking forward to the next chapter!
Shadowdragon
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Interesting story and I like the transformation. The mystery of the mother and what happen the last night makes you want to see more.
ktc
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
It's a decent read, if a bit dark. The weird is a bit more prominent, considering her end result, but what it does have is good and enjoyable.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
Due to comment spam, any new posts with http in them will be destroyed.
