First story, feel free to leave comments and suggestions on the forums.
Pretty strange transformations, hopefully you will like my twisted story.
Summary:
Ben stumbles across some fantastic body enhancement pills while on a trip to China. The transformation process invoked by the pills includes some very strange and unpredictable modifications. Astounded by the results, Ben manages to get the pills home to the US. His first call is to his sultry friend-with-benefits, Lisa. She loves his new body, what will she choose?
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.73
- BE: 3.23
- Characters: 4.30
- Technical: 4.50
Hellomanwo
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Loved it, please keep the Story going ;)
Murgen
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Oh dang did he just get a job offer for writing this story?
dooga
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Mayhem
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Keep the story going.. HOT
Billy
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Wow! Just, wow! I really got excited reading this story! Well done!
bestoryclub
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
We'd like to hire you as a freelance writer. Please contact marketing@geo-design.com
Me
Overall= 4, BE= 1, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Italian10inch
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
I hope to read more installments, I like a good PE story. Wish there were more. I would be willing to help in your work.
Jason G
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
good stuff. as a few others have said, there were a few small typo/wordo's that spell check alone won't catch, but they were few and far between so it was easy to read through. looking forward to the next installment. someone else said you should do pdf - i disagree. html or plain txt are the most universally readable and flexible formats that work on any device without bloated software.
maybeenuf4u
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I really liked the story! I would have liked it more if it were not in txt. PDF would be best in my opinion. I gave it a 4 because she really didn't do BE. (thats why the 3 in BE description.) It would have been all 5s if she had only made her breasts grow.
sebrof
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
That guy
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Chris Yohn
Overall= 5, BE= 2, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Good read. The Chinese lady was gross but I enjoyed the rest of it. Since there are more pills I expect more stories. (please :P)
Khel
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
This is relevant to my interests
Rev
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Would love to read more soon
Xero
Overall= 5, BE= 1, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
aylamb
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Yeah, you need to write more about this. Get weird and fun and freaky, please, cause you know how to do it well with just the right amount of description and sexiness to keep 'over the top-ness' interesting.
toonfandub
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Excellent job! Love to see the focus on this type of 'weird' expansion. There are plenty of other "her boobs grew real big 'till her shirt popped open" stories out there, but not enough of this genre.
Eagerly awaiting the next installment!
Mizaur
Overall= 4, BE= 1, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Very enjoyable story. I really want another chapter to this, since the focus on weirder transformations were awesome, particularly the clit/vagina growth. I'd love to see more, maybe some things like nipple growth, hair growth, some more cock/vagina growth, maybe even some odder things like elasticity.
biggun
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
will be waiting for the second chapter. Like the story with multiple inflation fetishes.
TheEggman
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
This was very enjoyable - my kind of story. I love the weird aspects, and sometimes the weird stories are a little lacking in BE (though if there is another chapter, I wager it'll show up there). There were several spelling errors that a spell-checker wouldn't pick up ("hid" instead of "hide", "is" instead of "it", etc.) but the content was good enough that it didn't detract too much. Keep writing and perhaps do a grammar check along with the spell-check - I look forward to more!
Dexter Sinister
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
Looking forward to the next chapter!
anony1234
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Fanfuckingtasfuckingtic very well written with excellent description and characterization, a lack of proper BE was more than made up for with the often underrepresented other growth fetishes represented, amaazing on all counts keep writing more!
cman
Overall= 5, BE= 2, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
anon
Overall= 4, BE= 1, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
The BE was pretty incidental to the main growth. That was ably described however. The characters were little more than the average sort of sex-obsessed people that usually popular porn-y stories, which was a little disappointing.
spd
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Great stuff but i do want a sequel and the weirder the better in my book
SW
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Excellent story! You made me realize I may have a tongue fetish, and I love it. Truly hoping to see more work from you soon (and preferably more tongue!)
ktc
Overall= 5, BE= 2, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
The focus of this particular story wasn't actually the BE fetish but a growth fetish in general. That said, the lack of much BE is the only "problem" I have with this story. It was a great read, and it's certainly not very often that you get female clit/vagina growth in stories. Totally can't wait to read more.
GGG
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
Great story! captured my imagination and kept me interested throughout; to the point of wanting more, more more. Would like to see what some of the other pills could do? Breast enlargement? Penis length? To the point of frenzy?
TTF
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
I enjoyed the story very much but the beginning did go fast, in my opinion. I just really liked your story over all! I am hoping for more in the future~
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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