The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Ragnarok385
Exodus 20:17
A sequel to Matthew 7:12. Our friend Bridget seems to have everything, including Mike, under control with her magic ring, only to find it's not quite as simple as she wants it to be. Especially when a jealous best friend decides it's not fair that one girl should have all the attention, and a boyfriend finds he's not quite the man he once was...

My second story, feedback is always appreciated, and I've included Matthew 7:12 for those who haven't read it yet, which I highly suggest you do.

Warm Regards,

Ragnarok385
Average Scores:

JackV
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Honestly I liked the first one a lot better. What really hit me with the first one was him wanted whatever she suggested so that she could wish for it. I really enjoyed that concept, but you immediately abandoned in this one for the most part. Also, I was kind of hoping the whole concept of the dreamcatcher would come into play with more than just one single dream. Nevertheless, I really liked it and can't wait for the next part.

ktc
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Your ending comment hit my mood spot on. While it was an enjoyable read, it just felt like filler. That said, I can honestly say I'll be happy to see the last story posted.

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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
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Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
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Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
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