The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

TurinTheSlayer
Ghost Story (fixed)
A sadistic spirit has its way with a college girl living in a haunted house. 96 percent erotica with toys, anal, bondage, domination, and growing boobs. Please rate and comment if you want me to write more. 

(fixed some formatting errors at ate my paragraph breaks and did a few minor fixes and additions, read this one)
Average Scores:

Shershevskaya
Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

Very nice app. BUT when my son (3.5 years) play it on my iphone his liltte hand always touch either the eraser or the arrow sign at the bottom since his finger is short. So the page always change and he could not write.. I think it will be better to move the arrow and eraser to top of screen.

BAMF
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

WOW this story is awesome! I love the domination and the order in which things went. You painted a good picture with your words.

Wuffy
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

Deliciously wicked. Hope you continue the story. You touched on some of my favorite kinks - piercings and stretching. Love to see some tattoos in a new part.

A
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Very hot. Please write more stories.

R@gnaroCker
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Dammit, I've already had gotten my rocks off before I read this story. I wasn't expecting a well written story that's short and perfectly to the point. Guess I'll have to get back to this later when I feel the need.

But now that she's already been used, any add-ons would require visitors.

Anonymous
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

This story is my favorite on this site...and I think I've read most of the stories here! VERY creative, and since I'm a sucker for stuffing you hit everything I could have wanted. I can't wait to see more stories from you!

TurinTheSlayer
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Funny, even with your troll comment the ratings are all over 4. I looked to see if you had anything posted on the site so that I could learn from your greatness, but alas, nothing to be found.

Starzan
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 1

I can tell english isn't your first language, not bad for a first try. I HIGHLY recommend finding someone to help proofread and rewrite the story. The writing was so uneven and coarse that I couldn't get into it because of that. The BE was ultra short, the first scene which seemed cut off, that it just happened, and the super short shower scene. Nice first try though

Vraelly
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Absolutely love the concept and ideas used here. Would love more detail on the character and expansion should you choose to continue. But still, this tapped into one of my favorite (spiritual) fetishes. :)

bobGrimer
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Son, I am impress. Would read again.

banditkings
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

rate-this ,,,,,,,,,,,,Graet! One of the best I have read, in a long time.I,m a size freck, and nothings too big when it cumm to inflating.When the Key shows up,and the water drain out,use something bigger,and maybe silly-puddy instead of water????

Merkava_IV
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

A good story. Good length (not like the novella's I write) and too the point. I am not a big fan of domination but the BE was pretty spot on.

J
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Nice pace. Really enjoyable. Please keep writing.

Calebb
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

I'm sure there are improvements that could be made. I just wanted to say that I enjoyed this story and would like to see more like it. Good job!

Xenoriddley
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

I gotta say, this is probably one of my favorite stories on this site, and I've read quite a few. I really enjoyed the story of it and the technical aspect. Kudo's to you for making a great story and I really hope to see more of your work in the future!

mt
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

i would like to see more of your work

mandy
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

wow.... i love playing the submissive role... this was.... just wow.... in a good wow way.

Anon
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

I really liked how this went and I hope you do write more.
(copying comments and ratings from previous version, hope no one minds)

HerbalVerbal
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

That was a fantastic story, though I am a little shocked by it. Pretty raunchy, but great for this site. Keep up the good work!

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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
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Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
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Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
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