The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Ragnarok385
Matthew 7:12
Bridget finds out her boyfriend's fetish with breast expansion and freaks out. Later after a trip to the mall she comes home with a "magic" ring bearing the inscription "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." Dismissing the notion as silly, she finds out when her boyfriend tries to explain things to her that every choice has its consequences, some better than others.

My first story, any feedback is appreciated.
Average Scores:

banditkings
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

I myself am a little more sadistic then the girlfriend. I did like the story over all. Any more like this one? I love magical body enhancement,and enlargement.willing to pay for good stories once,not paying a web site over and over every month. banditkings1953@gmail.com

phlyhigh
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

YAY loved it!!!

JackV
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

It is imperative that you continue this story!

Carue
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

Excellent story, would like to see where a sequal goes.

MorePlease
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Excellent story. Can't wait for the next installment.

RapierStab
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Very good story! The man-boobs aren't really my thing, but they worked in the story. Need a sequel!

Boss
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

I agree that the balance of power needs to be there. Great work!

Duuude
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Great! More please!

Starz
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

any chance of having this reposted as a regular .doc file?

sam
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

That's a great story you did: It has quite the length to make me like the characters and understand their motives, but is not too bothering about unneccessary details (Hey, I want to read erotic novels, not study Literature!). Your explanations are quite understandable, even for an European folk and not native-speaker. Your main characters are very likeable, and they grow more and more natural during the story (she reading his thoughts, e.g).
After all, you did manage to merge an awesome lot of process into these short story. Especially the m2f, f2m and shemale part, mixed with some mind control, does in my opinion make the story very enjoyable.
I hope you will continue this story, but I would prefer Mike to somehow emerge the mind control, so that power is more balanced once again. Too much domination might ruin the kinky touch of the story.

jorgenson
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

Really interesting story, I loved the turn-about at the end when Mike becomes subservient to Bridget. The transgender aspects were also a nice twist, you could have elaborated on that section a bit.

dranon
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

Really enjoyed a lot of this! Not so much into the giant penis thing, but pretty much everything else was fun. Nicely done!

BB47
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

Good job, Raggy! I love how you dug into Bridgette's psyche. Based in her character, I didn't anticipate the juxtaposition of her stance from victim to victimizer. It made the action hot, and kept me excited. My only issue is how powerful you made her. Is she really the kind of person who would dominate her boyfriend so completely? I want to believe that she either has a reality check or grows bored of his mindlessness. After all, she does love him, right? Oh, yeah and I agree with the last comment about big things in tight places. We don't want him to fit, we want him to be almost too big, so tight that she almost can't stand it, but his girth turns her on, makes her even hornier, "uh!..yes!.. oh God!! It's too big! You're splitting me in half! Uhh.. Oh God.. don't stop! Harder! Harder! Ahh!!". Or something along those lines. ;)

Everything
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Marrrrrvelous.

The only thing I didn't enjoy so much was the giantess growth. I'd rather see large things try to fit in small places than the small place simply grow to be larger, but I guess we can't all have the same tastes :P

Aside from that, I loved the gender-play and would happily read any kind of continuation. One of my favourite recent stories on this site.

nl85
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

Can't wait to read the next chapter. I like the story so much I read it twice, you are now in my top 5 favorite writers!

Really enjoyed the dual perspective on growth.

Draw
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

very very well done. nothing really wrong with it but a few nit picks that really aren't worth mentioning. thou I must say if your going to do a seconded could you have a gender change with the boyfriend? cause that's the only thing missing in this one.

TheEarl
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

Really impressed with the story and interested to see what else you can come up with. It was especially novel to have a m/c story where the control doesn't just turn one partner into an empty sex-receptacle. Very well done.

If I had one criticism to make, it would be that you focussed a bit too much on the visual of oversized transformations and too little on how they actually felt. I'd've been happier with a transformation that was smaller and less visually dramatic, but described in terms of feel, sound, smell and taste.

I can't wait to read more from you.

The Earl

mallard
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

best i've read in a long time, more please

CC
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Loved a good revenge story. Cant wait to read more!

reader 08/15
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

I'd like to read more

Xanadu
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

This is probably the best I've read from here in a while. Please write more!

deus
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 5

I liked it. I'd love to read another chapter to this. One thing that didn't make sense to me, though: shouldn't the wish for men to be subservient to her be counted as something against their wishes and rebound on her? Or is it because it's a change to her that it falls into a loophole?

AmanDDa
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Thank you!!! It was like being there. I love your writing. This is be best thing to be posted here in a long while. Please write more. and if you want some ideas i would love to brain storm with you

mt
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

thought it was great and want to read more. she can mess with her sister and/or sam, as well as mike some more. this could turn out really interesting.

ktc
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

I enjoyed the story a lot. You had a bombshell college girl, her ex-athlete boyfriend and it all came together rather well in my opinion. Some grammatical errors here and there, but otherwise a fun read. Guy growing boobs was only a little weird for me, but the whole story was fun enough to the point that I was alright with it.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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