The Overflowing Bra

Pretty good for a parody XD

It's a little flat, but I think you're improving! ^_^

As a parody of overpowered and cliche characters, this story is rather amusing, although it does drag on long after the charm has worn off. A couple parts were actually rather clever, like how you didn't give any other characters names until you mentioned that point. I agree with ?: after you have the personalities merge it seems to fall apart. 
I don't really think this belongs on a BE site, though. 

There seems to be a terrible misunderstanding.  This story was written to maximize a score on the "Mary-Sue Litmus Test." (google it)  I was hoping I might get an unbiased opinion on how "poorly" I did. 
But, despite all that, I am surprised people are giving is a "1" for technical.  I thought ML did a wonderful job with proofreading.  Sincerely, Mr. GreyMan

Clever, but dumb. A parody of bad writing and characterization still needs to have good writing and characterization; just calling attention to its horribleness doesn't make it interesting.

"Laying it on too thick" certainly applies here. I know the intent was to illustrate perfection in every way, but describing perfection in every way isn't an interesting read.
On the technical side, nothing really stands out; just one plain sentence after another really.

Story was fine until the memory merge, then it just became disjointed. BE there, but nothing to really entice.

I stopped reading when she beat the South Korean in the videogame...
IMPOSSIBRUUU!!
Also the story is really boring and flat.

A story like this has got a lot of great potential. At first it was fairly solid, even in spite of the fact that it took too much time describing the complexities of Mary-Sue's perfection and lifestyle. Where it dropped off, for me at least, was the extremely detailed and over-complicated plot regarding Mary-Sue's extraterrestrial origins.
Having Mary-Sue improve herself would have removed the need to include something so convoluted. I have to say that I don't hate the idea of the perfect becoming moreso, but I'd much rather something less complicated.

meh.

Is she a god or what??? too much is like too litle...

I don't know if you intended it, but this reads like a satire of your own work. Usually a character starts out normal (or a bit above normal) and becomes a perfect god/goddess; in this one a character begins (effectively) a goddess and becomes an even greater one. I found it pretty enjoyable when read in that light.

I stopped reading after the second page and started skimming.  After the first four pages were all about how perfect she was, I gave up.  At 28 pages long, there might be a story in there somewhere, but I just gave up.  This feels more like satire lampooning long character descriptions of "Mary-Sue"-type characters rather than a story in itself.

Kk

This story is boring. The characters are flat and it just drags on.