The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Toriko
Water ... Girls ..... and growing touch
Water has Magic power 
Average Scores:

russ1138
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

I suggest the author only write stories in their own language.

Gopher
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Plagerism IS a crime y'know

_
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

I could not understand any of the grammar as it was horrible.

Furt
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Why is it that so many people reviewing this story are apologizing? The author is hopeless and without talent, it's not like there's any two ways about it.

Blerg
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

yup very poor and indeed stolen from expansioncomics got that comic somewhere on hd

buddyu
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

i could not follow the story. sorry but i dont think english is your first language.

wolf
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Learn to write first there is such bad grammar here it isn't funny.

Aeschalus
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

I'm sorry but this is just poor.

MadMacs2010
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

sorry but I started reading this and before I reached the end of the third paragraph I gave up. The work doesn't appear to have been proof-read at all typos and mis-used words along with incorrect tenses just combine to give me a headache. Please revisit this and re-write it, if english is not your native tongue please ask someone who does speak the language to translate it rather than pushing it through google translate and hoping for the best.

Anon
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

I'm sorry, what is it with the amount of stories coming up with weak descriptions, all in Ms Works, and with no clear thought process whatsoever? I cannot criticise language since even if English is not someones native language you can still get just as good a story with a decent attempt at translation if you attempt to develop the characters properly but this one just offends me.

JinxedBewbs
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

I can't come up with a single thing positive to say about this one.

OmniTrixie
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

When LibreOffice opened this file, it put a strikeout line through every word.

I think it was supposed to be a hint.

TheNewNo2
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

I could barely understand a word of it. Please come back when you are capable of

1) Writing more than a single page.
2) Using a reasonable file type.
3) Have passed junior school english.

BQM04
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

WTF? I couldn't even follow this story whatsoever!

vcxb
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

This is the worst thing ever. Ever.

Unbelievable
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 1

Well, it is another one in a long line of stories that never should have been posted on this site. Okay. The story could have been good. The idea is pretty okay. But the execution is horrendous. The Grammar is yet again non existing. I reccomend you as the writer, to take the story down and give it a serious makeover. Your grammar and sentence build is,although not the worst I have seen on this site, quite awful.

Please fix this, and I think your story can become quite enjoyable.

MrHHH
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 2

This looks like the script to one of the comics at expansioncomics.com

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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