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Aaron gets chosen to beta test a new kind of music player but experiences some unintended and life changing side effects.
My first crack at a story, so please be gentle.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.80
- BE: 3.90
- Characters: 4.20
- Technical: 4.40
Bumbs
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Really enjoyed this! You also have very good taste in music it seems lol. Keep writing please!
anon
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Hope you get the chance to write more
Adama
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Very nice. Both the story and the handling of the growth. Write more.
HubbleOverTaiwan
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Awesome story. That's pretty much it. Keep writing.
anon
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Very well done. Looking forward to seeing more from you.
blackwolf
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Etherealvision
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
I liked it alot! I hope to see more work from you.
Russian Judge
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 3, Technical= 2
I know you wrote this on a Mac...thanks for putting it in TXT format...but reading it in Wordpad, it shows up as a huge hunk of text with no paragraphs. I can tell where paragraphs were supposed to be, but even they seemed kind of big.
Still enjoyed the TG and pregnancy aspects of the story.
Lanslaught
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
Might be nice to give a description of the characters in question, instead of having the reader fill in the gap. I'm impressed with how thorough it was though, a lot of details were added which a lot of writers just leave out, but which gave a good deal of life to the story.
Thumbs up and hope to read more from you.
anon
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
if this is your first try, i can only imagine what's next...
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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