The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

The Chronicles of Bryan Tobinado Stanfield
Average Scores:

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 1

great story. need more like this.

Overall= 4, BE= 1, Characters= 2, Technical= 1

Could use a touchup, some formatting mostly.

Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 5, Technical= 3

It could be improved upon, but it will take some editing. First put it in Word, or open office documents (free!) Break it into paragraphs.

I liked the sci fi, very original. Personally I don't go for wide asses, but whatever. Starting w/ a B is standard fare in BE. Not far off the mark tho. Good first attempt!

Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Impossible to read or follow in this format. Split it into paragraphs if you want it to be readable.

Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Have to agree with the above poster. Mediocre formatting (no line breaks between character speech, etc) can make a story difficult to read, but lack of any paragraph divisions of any kind mean this story is all but unreadable. Just like in English class, presentation is important; it doesn't matter what you have to say if we can't understand it.

If this is just an issue with this particular version or a bizzare uploading problem, you may try viewing the file through several editors (Notepad, Wordpad, Firefox, IE, etc) to insure readability for all viewers. In any case, it should be a relatively simple matter to reformat in a more reader-friendly matter, so don't despair just yet.

The First Glancer
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Very difficult to get a grip on the story itself. I aborted at about two minutes in. The text formatting (rather, the complete lack of - a simple dash between sentences does not make a dialogue) made it hard to see who says what to whom, the writing in present tense makes it seem like it's more of a script than a text. Was this copied straight from an e-mail, with no regard for paragraphs altogether? Completely broken. Please work on the presentation. Please. Sorry, that's about all I can say.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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