Sara begins experiencing some delightfully pleasurable changes and begins a sex filled odyssey of the milky variety.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.40
- BE: 4.00
- Characters: 4.10
- Technical: 4.10
SMAP
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
I found the BE to be a little sparse and the lactation (ostensibly the point, I assume from the title) to be surprisingly limited. Those small complaints aside, however, it was an excellent story; though we only got a limited glimpse of the characters, they were well-written and the sex scenes were neither over-burdened nor under-filled. Technical quality was excellent- as a reader of actual books, I'm always overjoyed to see people who add appropriate line and paragraph breaks to make their story readable.
If you're looking for suggestions, I'd say upping the overall length (it was rather short by my standards, and basically raced through the action and plot) and giving some exposition on the spell-gone-wrong; there's nothing wrong with doing some in media res and then referring back to the events, but it wasn't until practically the end of the story that we were even told more than a partial sentence or so about it.
Despite being a whiny, curmudgeonly bastard I'm looking forward to seeing #2. You've got some good writing talent, and I'd be interested in seeing more of your work in the future.
ManOnMars
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Im diggin it...do i detect a soon to be pregnant character? :D
Red
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Very good! Excellent lactation details, good writing. More size! The girls need to get much, much bigger. Can't wait for the next installments.
G-man001
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
4shot
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
looking forward to the upcoming chapters!
dork
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
ps
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Sucker4Boobs
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Great stuff! Aside from the spelling errors, this was a great lactation story.
Genoharden
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I agree that it did have some plot devices of the mundane variety, it worked out very well..... Bravo!!
Spuchuu
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
A little cliche at times, but really good. The plot flow was really nice, the BE was well explained and the characters were true to themselves
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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