Another new author takes to the field! A tale of debauchery begins with a sinister GPS navigation map by an author who has mastered anything if brevity. Will our heroes initiation go as planned? Will the author ever write a sequel? Its anyones guess!
Average Scores:
- Overall: 3.00
- BE: 1.50
- Characters: 2.50
- Technical: 3.50
Jason G
Overall= 4, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
I felt that though the story started off well, once he got knocked out, the rest seemed a little rushed. Descriptions could have been more detailed, with size references (or actual numbers) for everything. Overall though, a very good start that leaves you wanting the next chapter. Thank you for proofreading your work - it makes it much easier to read!
Suggestion: give more detail about these people - what sort of magic or science or whatever do they use? Maybe some background on that as well.
DarkHeart
Overall= 2, BE= 1, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
You seemed awfully rushed in this story which killed what could be an interesting setup. It also seemed like the file was incomplete or had some bad formatting.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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