Mandy comes over and helps Andy, and on the east coast, the Vatican gets involved. Meanwhile, the old world has gotten involved...
Due to a reformatt, I lost 7 chapters of work, so I am recompiling the work. Here are chapters 11 and 12 (I know small update for 11 months of work) but more is one the way, I promise. Let me know what you think, and please continue to be patient.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.20
- BE: 3.60
- Characters: 4.00
- Technical: 3.80
;ovdifhv
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
The only thing you should be allowed to write is a grocery list.
Musette
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
You've got a good style. Colourful characters, and plot. Hmmm. Not sure about the "special operations" girl. I want to know more. Grammar is fine, the style can be a bit dodgy in spots. Overall, brilliant.
supergeno
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
You write very well and really hope that you do more of this.
amanda
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I love everythig thing you write.
please find me
madmusichatter@hotmail.com
Crash
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Terrific story, but the only thing really detracting from it is really poor technical work. In the same chunk of story, I saw amanda called "Kim" and "Mandy", and some of the times when you attempted to make it feel like his thoughts trailed off just ended in a sentence.
It's a great great BE story but seriously, do a proofread.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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