The main character finds that, when he and his girlfriend have unprotected sex, parts of them grow for no apparent reason! They also find out that it can be quite addicting...
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.35
- BE: 4.12
- Characters: 4.12
- Technical: 4.35
Mande
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 4
The asnewr of an expert. Good to hear from you.
katheb
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
dude
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
B E Lover
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Vampirate
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
Looks like someone else here is a huge fan of Ed Millers work.
I saw shades of his storytelling in this, and that is a very high compliment. Excellent work, although I'll echo some of the previous comments in that the general weight gain in the end seemed a bit rushed, but that could just be because its not my thing.
Overall, GREAT!
D
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
Not big on the weight gain thing but otherwise great little story.
MrHHH
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Surprisingly fun and enjoyable. :)
cmp
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
LOVED it up until the weight gain part... but that's just because it's not my thing. The ending of the story kind of ruins the rest of it for non-FAs since it focuses so much on the fat. I also agree about having less offstage... Otherwise, great!
Overall= 3, BE= 5, Characters= 3, Technical= 2
Much better than average story, but the grammar needs help- especially on the use of possessive punctuation.
Strunk & White is only 7 bucks or free online.
RR
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Grammar was a bit off, but it was a very enjoyable read. Even though there are parts that don't appeal to certain people (i.e. the fat fetish), it was still a great read. Just try and tidy up the grammar to help make it flow a little better, and as many others have said, a little less offstage with such a fast-paced story.
gman
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
a nice read. good clothes ripping, but I agree less offstage growth, you're better than that! Please post more of your work.
Blamandude
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Lots of growth, I loved it!
crazysly
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Everything about it was awe inspiring and really a great read. But more attention to expansion would have pushed it clean over the edge.
Tigarr
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
I enjoyed the story very much... I wonder if a sequel is in the works. :> Would've been interesting to see if she started lactating and if that'd have any affects on him... :>
Wolf
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Well writen, but I would of liked to see more detail on the expansion rather than so much appearing off screen, other than that its a great story
Stretch
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Although I'm not into the fat fetish either it was a very good read. The situation and plot were well done and I liked the descriptions and thoughts of the charecters. Nice work!
Kanodin
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
Characters are okay, but I say this because I do not identify with the fat fetish. I enjoyed the other physical and mental aspects of the story. I was slightly disappointed by the fast pace of the story, and would have liked a slower progression of the physical changes over a longer period, but that would have lengthened the story beyond your pithy intent. You write very well.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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