The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Kitty and MasterX0
A accidental breast growth happens when pills are dropped into a cereal.
Average Scores:

Overall= 1, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 3

Um, wow... No flow. The characters were horribly written and unconvincing. The descriptions and details were... hmmm, crappy. Technical quality was surprisingly good compared to the rest of the story. Overall: you made me want to projectile vomit.

Overall= 1, BE= 3, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Quite good, actually. I you don't care about story, spelling or grammar. It's a good story idea, but please have someone proofread the next one.

Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

This seems to be written by people who failed English miserably, and have the literacy level of a ten year old (I forgive you if English is not your first language). Nonetheless, some of the descriptions do the right thing.

Overall= 2, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Woah, poor character development, cliche growth methods, no story flow.

Overall= 1, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Worst story ever written. You made my brain want to crawl in a corner and die.

Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Sorry, PLEASE READ. I don't need anymore comments thank you. I get the idea it wasn't good, just please forget about it, I can ask no more. I tried having it removed for all of you but the webmaster said he could not. Sorry for wasting your time but if you haven't read the story yet, please Do Not.

Overall= 2, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Writing well is about re-writing and re-writing until it's very good. This story is a good start, but the writer needs to work with it more. Don't be discouraged! Just work on it more and more.

Also, write for your own pleasure not the critic's.

Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 2

Yeah, it wasn't a very well written story, I agree. Not great, still better than the cybersex one. I give credit to any writer who puts their story on here; having said that, serious revisions would be recommended.

Merkava IV
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 2

First off, I think the story is flat. The writing style has been harped on since it was posted. I don't want to beat a dead horse.

Secondly, the characters are also flat, with clipped scentences being used for description. Not that the english is BAD, but rather VERY basic.

As for the BE Description, well it's there, but it's very you guessed it, Flat, again a victim of short, clipped scentence structure, that while not technically "bad" are probably better described as overly simplistic.

The overall enjoyment of this story was low, but not a "1" for the simple reason that it does fullfill the advertised genre of a "BE" story.

Now for some encouragement: It takes a whole lot of guts to post your work on line. I guarantee that most people who rate these stories don't post there own. You are putting yourself in the public spotlight. That light can be a searing heat that some can't stand. I have posted all of two whole stories here, and the first wasn't very well recieved (IMHO). As for the second, only time will tell. Both of these stories were the subject of much revision, and review from outside scources. No writer ever made a story right on the first try. I want to have you know that most of the negative feedback here should be disregarded. If it doesn't help make you better, just let it go. On the other hand, if it gives you tips to make you better, or is constructive, go with it, learn from it, and intigrate it into your writing so that next time, you can do more with your talents.

Remember, if you like doing something constructive, don't let others get you down.

Sorry for the spelling errors. See, no one is perfect.

Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Need a major rework to be readable and enjoyable.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

Your comments on the story: