The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

JB/NL
tsunami@xs4all.nl
Breaking the Laws of Lust
The sequel to "Earth is Such A Stupid Name."
Another Circle War breaks out, and what more fitting revenge on your enemies than ... well, you'll just have to read to find out, not ?
Average Scores:

zzzzzz
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

The original needed a sequel like Joan Rivers needs more wrinkles.

Waste of time.

HorseRadish
Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 5

To be fair, the technical quality was above average. I thought the story was imagnative and intriguing. However, I found the yuck factor to be fairly high too. I was grossed out by some of the story.

Eggman
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 4

I found the first to be imaginative and erotic, and I do enjoy the weirdness factors in these stories. However, this, the sequel, seemed to be all about the BE and the weirdness, and it seemed to lack the charm and eroticism of the original. The three main characters were WAY too restrained when compared to the first story, and the only scene that came close to matching the hotness of the original (when they entered the chamber with the third subject) seemed to be cut too short. And while this IS a sequel, it would have helped to have a little bit more description of the characters. The technical quality was above average, as the grammar was spot on and the descriptions were detailed - almost too detailed, so detailed it seemed more scientific than erotic. My only complaint on the techincal style was the paragraph formatting in the text file. It was only slightly confusing but didn't detract too much.

JB/NL
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 4

I can't do anything but fully agree with all the serious criticism leveled here.

The story was written to get it out of my head - and initially I didn't want to post it here because it was rather ... poor ... in quality, but I persisted against better judgement.

In retrospect I shouldn't have. Not proud of this one - I'll admit, I screwed this one up badly. Sorry for the disappointment.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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