A stranger changes Ann into her worst nightmare (part 5). Comments welcome.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.75
- BE: 4.63
- Characters: 4.50
- Technical: 4.25
Name
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
aQx
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
Hey this was really good. One critique would be that when you describe her pleasure it seems to be very flat. You say what she does (like orgamsing) but then you just sort of lay it out there many time over without much variation. My suggestion would be try to describe her pleasure in creative ways and without resorting to the one-word "orgasm" as a catch all description.
someguy
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
quickly becoming my favorite series. amazing stuff.
Lucky
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I wonder when there is more
Apex
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I Dont Write Right
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 3
Great story, one of the most origional I've read in quite a while. I really like how you've incorporated other things into the story that are non-BE. It would be nice to see a few episodes with none or a little less BE just to keep the story going without focusing on one element and burning it out. I'd have to agree on what Someguy wrote about the redundant orgasm descriptions too, though its no reason to stop writing. ; ) Keep up the good work, look forward to reading more!
Shaynringan
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
DEFINITELY my favorite series on the site to date. I especially love the variety, and loved the size transformations made by Billy. You're on fire, man! Keep it up, please! :)
Tarot
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 2, Technical= 3
A fluffy series, but one you put some effort into and it shows. I agree with aQx. It would also help if you learned the difference between the words "lose" and "loose."
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
Due to comment spam, any new posts with http in them will be destroyed.
