This story is about a girl who meets a stranger that changes her body and mind into the worst nightmare she can imagine. Slightly revised and cleaned up with a third part. Input appreciated.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.45
- BE: 4.23
- Characters: 4.14
- Technical: 4.18
Estella
Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 4
That's way more clever than I was eexpcting. Thanks!
SIlent
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Great story! Keep writing XD
Name
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
WAMMO
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Very descriptive, but no offense, it is sometimes hard to get into the story because of the let's just say, feeling bad for her. Not to seem like a prick.
TheObvious
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
If this is your ideal fantasy for a healthy relationship, I'm sure not going out with you.
Spanky
Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
You can't help but feeling bad for the main character, and i feel that she should have enjoyed what was going on.
JR Parz
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Contact me. jrparz@hotmail.com The rating is for two reasons. HOT tale and to offset the first rating which was very subjective.
X
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Great :) Two requests:
1. next time, linger a bit more on how uncomfortable her huge tits are, how she can't keep her balance, make her clothes fit, difficulty getting up, and general shock at their size (maybe even make them bigger, if only for a little while, to enhance these aspects)
2. something I hate in US citizens: loose and lose are VERY different words ... please learn the difference, especially if you are not from the US. I only comment because you consistantly write loose when lose is correct.
(max marks to offset first bad rating)
around the block
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
The story was good except for some minor technical flaws. Overall, I prefer a bit more character development in this kind of undertaking... but that is purely a personal choice. And, oh yes, that initial review is ass, by an ass, and is completely innappropriate. Notched up the overall rating by one to compensate.
Brit
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
Well done! So hot, so very very hot... I hope this foolish little girl has this lesson of humiliation forever burned into her awareness! The little slut!
awesome
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
fantastic... oh and make them bigger :)
CaptainFixit
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Excellent story. The last couple of scenes were particularly good; you can't beat such wonderful descriptions of wanton beaviour. I look forward to the 4th chapter.
DMC
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
This is to balance the earlier one, but I would be giving this score anyhow. Very sexy story. I know a lot of women with contradictive feelings about breasts, so I liked it even though it was extreme, extremely hot.
SMAP
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
Some technical mistakes scattered through, but I'm rather picky about those sort of thing. I'm not big on the whole humiliation deal, but even that aside is was a good read. The only real problem I had was that Ann doesn't seem all that different when smart vs. dumb. She never behaves all that intelligently to begin with, mostly just crying and trying to pretend nothing has happened, so there is no contrast when she loses her intelligence.
anon
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
Look forward to the next chapter, another growth scene of longer duration would be fantastic. But as it stands, great work!
MrHymie
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
My only complaints are technical, the story line is great!
Jeebus
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
ranked high just to throw off the first morons moronic rating, still above average story!
FF1 fighter
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Biantai
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
This story is one of the best ever!
key
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
great story especailly the tease
Q
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 3
Z
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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