The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

DD_Redshoes
Gwen's Ex
The sequel to 'A Taste Of Snow'. We find that Keeto is losing control of her gift and Sachie not using it enough. To make things worse Gwen's Ex wants to kill her, Josh gets abducted and the whole of Fairydom is threatened by Gwen's mentor. Life just gets a little weirder as the humans find out more about fairies and how BE can be both fun and torturious.
Average Scores:

rebel6731
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

Your writing is really showing improvement. A very good story. I look forward to your next.

Hacky
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

I enjoyed this story so much that I just had to de-lurk and show my appreciation...the characterisation is great. can't wait for your next story

Darkheart
Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 1

I would have enjoyed the story more had I not been trying to wrap my mind around your language skills. The idea is a good one, but unfortunately you need a bit more than a good idea. Try to keep working on it though. :)

Here's a couple of sites that might be of some help: http://ei.cs.vt.edu/~cs5014/fall.95/courseNotes/WebPages/5.TechnicalCommunication/tc_2_Usage.html

http://www.bartleby.com/141/

Nickname
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

I really enjoy your writing/story/characters. Keep it up! A

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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

Your comments on the story: