Unknown
A womans quest to break out of her cocoon. She meets a magic owl that gives her the body she dreams of. And she dreams big....
Average Scores:
- Overall: 3.64
- BE: 3.09
- Characters: 3.36
- Technical: 3.36
test21
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Was a pleasant little story. Thanks for the work. I'd like to see how you decide to end it.
someguy
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
Breasts
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
A good begining.
I'd personally like the main characters boobs to get alot bigger in part 2, at least into the top end of the "Huge" catergory if not the "Wow" catergory.
Basil_Jelly
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 3
More of the lines for the Owl, bigger breasts (of course) and other problems from the magic.
Grayface
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
realy liked it a lot cna't wait for part II
DJ
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
Decent beginning, though you've got some technical errors ('Dewy' for 'Dewey') and I didn't learn much about the main character.
biogenic
Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Good start! Looking forward to the next parts.
benji dude
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 4
For the first part to a story it was lacking in character development however I can see a lot of potential in this story. Just one question, if she can change the size of her tits, why is she complaining that she hasn't got anything that fits? Overall a good story, just need to delv into developing the characters a bit more and please, no more teethless woman giving blowjobs to brooms, that's just not nice. lol.
Merkava IV
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
I liked this installment, but it needed more charecter development, especialy after reading part 2, where we learned just how bad off she was in the body department. I like the humor you have included. your technical erros are minor compaired to most (I can't spell my self, so I can't judge too harshly). Keep it up, looking forward to parts 3-5.
andrat2000
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
The Toymaker
Overall= 4, BE= 1, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
I liked it, but it seemed a little confusing at first, almost as though she was actually hot, but endeavored to be less so- as though she could have taken off her glasses and shook out her hair and snagged any man she wanted- without the Owl's help. I really dug the humor, few things make my night quite like a beef jerky-eating owl with a human fetish. I thought the character development was fine, about as much as you'll find in most other stories; the BE was a little rushed, but it IS a multi-part story, plenty of time for that in later chapters, now that the world is established. Oh, and if she can do anything she wants with her breasts, why does it matter wether or not her clothes will fit? Either way, off to Part II.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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